by Randal Sumner
03/01/2002
Among the things I really hate are crowded noisy public events;
my idea of a day from hell is spelled NASCAR. So it was interesting
to find myself in the fly fishing equivalent of Daytona on race
day: the Sportsman's / Outdoorsman's show in Portland Oregon. To
top it off I was working in a booth with the legendary Jimmy Hill
and Chris (choo choo) Cody. Jim is the king of an Internet Empire
selling flies, lots and lots of flies. This was only my second visit
to the land of Hunt and Fish I found the inhabitants interesting,
scary, and charming. The first thing you realize is that there is
no shortage of testosterone or chewing tobacco at this venue. This
is not a bunch of trout bums laughing it up and trading chili recipes
this is deadly serious. I mean were talking death and mayhem to
wild creatures everywhere. Listen, I understand that these deer,
elk and varmints got to go, or they simply take over. Pretty soon
our parks and softball fields would be over run, bears and cougars
on the roof of your house. Not a pretty picture.
Then there was the "Girls in Waders " calendar booth. Gee Randal
what is that? Well it is a calendar with girls in thong swimming
suits wearing hip waders. The real girls in the booth seemed kind
of short and sullen but then again they were forced to look at the
stuffed animals across the isle all week. It would make me introspective
too, and I am far from a trophy.
The sportsman/outdoor lifestyle requires a person to suspend all
of their common sense, and buy a boat. After a gun and a knife a
boat is the Holy Grail. I must say that I have had river boats for
almost twenty years. I am not immune to boat seduction. But I have
one rule, no motors. But the boats at the show could make you talk
to yourself. Woof! Sitting under the lights on their trailers, gleaming,
it seams perfectly sensible to have a twenty-foot candy apple red
bass boat with a flame job. My uncle Gayland who has given in to
the allure of more than one boat once gave me some hard earned advise,
" the best two days of a boat owners life are the day he buys and
the day he sells" The best part of the boat deal is the financing,
it is possible to buy a boat for say $30,000 and never live long
enough to have it paid for, now that is the trout bum way.
In the middle of this swirling world of outdoor adventure is the
casting pond, it is a long rectangular blue plastic enclosure with
about three inches of water, and the idea is you stand in the center
and cast yarn balls into floating toilet seats. Let me tell you
some of these guys can really lay out a line. This is where the
rod manufactures show off there newest casting tools. I of course
gave them all a try, what the heck I didn't fall into the water
and got a few toilet seat ringers.
I did find out an interesting fact about Powell fly Rods. The
company was bought by none other the Charles Schwab the investment
guru, and somehow the thought of Mr. Schwab out casting his own
fly rods on some gorgeous piece of water with the girls in waders,
driving his new boat, seems a fitting end to our adventure in the
big city.
